Sara's Poetry

Sara's Poetry ~Box~
I'm mangled in this trap,
in this perfectly looking box,
which i open,
only to find hell.
Yet it's presence intriges me,
leaving me only in morbid curiousity,
and a determination to get inside.
And once i am in,
I am overcome by a lack of light,
and am not able to see my way out.
I try myself to find exscape,
but get lost instead,
forgetting which way I came from.
I am struck with fear.
I fall helpless on my knees,
begging and pleading for a exit back,
into the light that I have now grown scared of.
What will I do without the comfort of these walls?
How will I adjust to the light I have gone to long without?
Suddenly I fell a wiping of my tears,
and a hand grasping my own,
making me trust it's guidance,
and it's wisdom.
And now i know I am not alone,
there is someone else with me,
who has been here before.
And I am exscoted from the box,
and light shines upon the face of the one who helped me out,
who gave me exscape.
I stumble for words,
but instead Jesus holds me in His arms,
and suddenly I realize the box I was once in,
has fallen to the ground,
and lay under my feet.
And i stand hand in hand,
with the one who helped me crush it,
and I am set free.
~End~�� Sara Berghoef�� 1/10/98

~Behind~� 2/18/98
Why are you here again?
Asking me for more,
when it's obvious it's too late,
to have a frienship like before.
When time has been the healer,
of my sadly crispened heart,
you come back asking for me,
tearing my mind apart.
But now it's time for what I want,
becuase we've had your way for so long,
and I know I have to let you down,
to find out where i belong.
And as for you,
what can I say?
Life has gotten the best,
of your ignorant ways.
~End~

~Game~� 2/18/98
I continue to play the game,
a game of chance and dice.
You roll to see what you get,
the result occupies your mind.
This game of love is so hard to play,
when I never seem to win,
and when I think I've found someone,
my feelings are tossed back in the bin.
So I've finally reached a point,
wher I seem to no longer care,
a point of strength,
or mabye ignorance,
a point of determing it's all too unfair,
to live this life of hurt and teenage kaos,
which only destoryes my dumbfounded mind,
which will not get better,
with neverending time.,
and will not heal with words,
of lies and pain.
And will not dissapear,
with no sign of gain.
But this game of love will only rot my soul,
which you seem to do,
I shoudl have learned a long time ago,
not to fall in love with you.
~End~

~Poem~� 2/19/98
Who is there for us?
When our lives are riped in two,
when the sun ceases to awaken us,
from out hellish dreams.
And we fall into deep sorrow,
unable to climb out,
for the ladder is too steep,
and I am too weak,
and I stumble back down.
What hope do we hold?
When all we have tried to be,
has been abused by those we loved,
or thought we did,
and yet were never loved in return.
Only filled with pain,
pain whick leads our lives,
and which we recieved from you.
Who will dry our tears?
When they shine upon our cheeks,
and rip onto our lips,
and coat our bloodshot eyes.
What will happen to our souls?
Which long for only good,
a chance to be loved,
to love,
a chance to be understood.
I guess the one thing i am asking,
the only thing I want,
is hope for the brokenhearted.
~End~�� Sara Berghoef

~3 minutes~ 2/8/98
5:52, A minute that will seem to last forever,
just as everyone other minute does when I am waiting for you.
5:53, another agonizing 60 seconds of sorrow...
5:54, is still going....
3 minutes, a waste of time,
a waste of thoughts,
and a waste of my love,
which i am so eager to give to you...
Which i am now looking so forward to giving someone else...
becuase mabye you're not worth another 3 minutes...
~End~

~Another Sunset~
A array of blue is taken over
by a slight bright tint of a flaming pink yellow.
(The mind is mellowed)
A orange gleam,
glistens in the white powder,
covering natures hair.
(my eyes can do nothing but stare)
A flaming bright ball,
dissapears over a hilly grassy horizen.
(what more could a moment have been?)
A clear blue sky,
disapears into a never ending gray mystery.
All so peacful,
and calming to the soul,
a message from above,
God's powerful love.
It's another sunset.

~Better than he or she~ 3/11/97
I screamed,
it echoed in Your soul,
You answered wutg a whipser.
(They pass my feelings in a bowl)
You understand,
You see,
You're such a better friend,
than
he
or
she.....
t
e
a
r
s
are wiped dry,
You're the only hope in my eyes,
Forever I am Yours,
for me,
You died.
~End~

~Ending of a Day~
A smile,
a shmirk,
as we stand hand in hand.
A breeze,
a brush,
on your soft skin.
A golden view,
a silver masqurade,
a day slowly falls away.
Darkness surronds,
all around,
yet your voice remains the most soothing sound.
Somthing calm,
with my hand,
pressed tightly within your palm.
But it all ends,
it ends the day,
and your perfect love,
slowly melts away.

~Exscape~ This one is about suicide, but it's pretty.
A green patch outlines her feet,
liek ruffles.
Her hair framing her face.
The wind,
tickles her cheeks,
and dries her tears.
Her soft hands,
these hands which hold the blood of anger,
seeking,
one last glance of hope.
None found.
Looking only over a mountainous cliff,
(Exscape)
The dress flows,
and her eyes become dark,
one second of joy,
an instant of nothing.
Her toes approach the side,
her shaking hands,
quenching her pale palms.
(Close my eyes,
let the wind take me,
guide me,
float my feelings on air,
to once,
be no ones.)
Her knees bend,
and her feet leave the ground,
never to touch it again.
~End~

~Good Luck Clover~
Rain splashes on the ground,
(a glitter frenzy)
Making a fuedal, slight sound,
(a knife to the heart)
Love embaraces and trickles throughout
(killing at each stab)
Making it somthing impossible to live without.
(leaving me blind)
Telling me to give in and let go,
(a shreik of pain rumbles)
Rining at my weary lonesome soul.
(leading me to death)
So tell me it's over,
(the pain which throbs at the soul)
So hand me the good luck clover,
(the weary love kills.)

~Hiding Place~ 1/7/98
She gazes upon a speckled starry sky.
Her wet tears so warm,
they steam in her eyes.
She lay motionless under a vast enternity,
wishing that he was near,
to hold her close,
to remove all sence of fear,
to hear her soul,
which so openly invites him in.
But instead she lets te wind guide her,
taking her scares and fears to a place much farther,
away from her fragile soul,
where love and hopes can't intervine,
to a place where she'll never find him,
but won't need to.
A place of nothing,
of meaningless thoughts,
a place where lies and evil,
are left ot rot.
And when's she's had enough.
and wishes to return to the world,
the doors will open and let her out,
and wair for her to return.
This places where she hides,
this place somewhere behind her soul,
the place where the wind guides her,
a place of neither hot nor cold.
A place of her thoughts,
and where no one is allowed,
is not a place of stars moons or clouds.
But a place to hide away,
and wait till he arrives,
to enter this dream with her,
when their two world will colide,
to become one incredibale reality,
away from all evil and lies,
to this place belonging to them,
under the speckled starry sky.
~End~ Written By: Sara Berghoef

~Hurt~
It's not your fault,
for you don't know,
that you're eating away at my soul.
The things you do,
that you dont' see,
are eating away at me.
You hurt me like no one else could,
I wonder if you know,
if you still would.
Hurt me like you do.

~Imprisoned~
So lost in a fearful, fragile world.
I lay in a meadow and think only of nature,
(and you...)
What has become of my feeble world?
So distracted by my confusion,
by your undefined feelings.
The sun warms my skin,
and seaps to my soul.
A long lost smile tries to push through,
yet i slap it back.
What has become of those words?
They hide in the back,
behind everything else.
(anger, fear, joy and refuse to see through)
The blue ocean of air,
covers my fear and axiety.
You've got me traped in this world,
you've got me imprionsed in this state.
Yet i refuse to push my way through,
refuse to deafeat,
refuse to try,
I am slain to you,
to this world of your own.
Imprionsed.
~End~ Sara Berghoef <--my last name!

~It Leaves Me~ (this is one of my favorites!!) no date, sometime last year.
It awaks me in my sleep,
and scares me from behind,
and with its gentle pulse,
it leaves me to be blind.
While calming all fear,
and putting out all pain,
it starts somthing new,
like the spark to the flame.
It goes on in a pattern,
a rollarcoaster of thoughts,
so soothing and so wonderful,
it puts my mind in knots.
(It pulls away,
I grasp it back,
desperatly,
like a drug)
I can never get enough,
of the posion it provides,
and i fall in agonizing pain,
the moment it subsides.
And with all that it causes,
in a value pac of feelings,
I fall in it's trap,
caught,
left alone,
forever reeling.
And like the venom of a snake,
it leaves me to shrivel up and die,
leaves me longing for more,
leaves me asking why.
Your kiss.
~End~ (all poems by Sara Berghoef)

~Kiss~ 3/5/97
The silent truth,
than the moment arives,
and without hesitation,
your soothing lips meet mine.
Not a sound,
just pure joy,
for our longing love,
we now employ.
Your mouth is cold,
or mabye mine just hot,
for I'm finally kissing the one,
who had my heart in a knot.
Don't let go,
not even to speak,
for being enclosed to you,
makes my mind so meek,
so mild,
so pure,
so devoted to you.
The thought of letting you go,
puts my thoughts in a blur.
Fold me forever,
in a deep, passoinate thought,
the moment you let go,
my weak heart will rot.
But when reality comes,
and I awake from my dream,
my joyful heart,
rips at the seems.
To liveout this fantasy,
could I?
would I?
shoud I?
tell you how I feel?
and realease this fantasy,
to hope this dream will become real.
~End~

~Lies~ (wrote it sometime last year, although I feel the same now)
Hollow heart,
spill my blood.
Red not only carries life,
but all hope of love.
(Drip it dry)
Take the remains,
chew on my skin,
foul me out,
like some kind of sin.
Pull out my eyes,
with your own dry hands,
dont' let me see,
any hope of dry land.
Slap my face,
leave a mark on my cheek,
do it again,
yoru strenght is meek.
Mkae it hurt,
make me cry,
make me suffer,
with all your lies.
~End~

~Memories~
The young innocent child glances over a sea of glass.
Her brown head of curls dancing with the wind,
Her tender feet race down a tremdous hill.
She catches up with the sand,
and races down the stretch.
Her toes break the water,
and her giggles break the silence.
Kicks and splashes,
giggles and screams,
the innocent sound of joy.
Grass tickles her knees,
and stones prickle her feet,
she runs around the house,
calling the dogs name.
The child stares at the water,
from a dock which seems miles high,
her kness bend,
eyes close,
and she jumps lake,
breaking the sheet,
and she smiles with the sun.
Her tiny hand meets one of a bigger size,
and her fears are left behind,
a man looks down and smiles,
a childs innocent joy.
A grown girl looks over a sea of glass,
Her red hair pulled back, out of the wind.
Her shoes stomp on the earth as she walks down a hill,
which is not so big anymore.
She reaches a grass dominated beach,
and walks along it,
itching the grass which bothers her legs.
Her words of anger break the silence,
and sobs,
break the peace.
The sound of today.
Her jeans press against the shrubbery
and she kicks pebbles out of her way,
yet this time no dogs name is called.
Her eyes meet the,
and she longs to spalsh in it,
but the dock has crashed down and no longer exsist.
And her grown hand can't meet the manly hand it once looked up to.
Sorrow, pain, a hollow soul, and a deep longing to be loved.
Death takes it's place,
change takes it's place,
sorrow takes it's place
and memories are the only joy we know.

~Mock me~ 3/11/97
My soul of steel, melts.
In a puddle,
splash around.
Kick your light feet,
wear your gold crown.
My thin pride, cracks.
So walk with your bare feet,
bleed your blood,
cry and reap.
My heart,
rips.
So take your bare hands,
and tare me apart,
spit in my face,
when will you start?
~End~ There's more to it, but I don't feel like finisihing it.

~Morning Suns Gleam~
A pink horizen,
a moment of nothing,
a relief on the soul.
Blur in my eye,
as i glance at the flaming bright sky,
a dark dust falls upon the earth,
and the soul begins a re-birth.
My hand,
being held by another,
sends a message I long to hear,
Watching a summer sunset,
with the one i love near.
I awake to a sunrise in my view,
the dream brought me joy,
but none of it true.
It had all been a fantasy,
a fake,
a dream,
as I sit and i think in the morning suns gleam.

~No Titile~
My body at rest,
yet my mind not.
Thoughts of your words keep running through my head.
My gasping heart asking for more,
shunning reality.
I pray to God, that you're the one,
no one I'd rather choose,
you're perfection in my eyes,
and it ceases me to see straight.
And now, away from those words,
from your thoughts,
I pray to God, He'll help me through.
When I read those words again,
i hope they exceed the time before,
that mabye you'll invite my to be yours.
And next time i glance into your eyes,
they will glace back with love.
So desperate for your innocent touch,
just a hand on mine,
a hug or a kiss to my lips,
something to let me know you care.
Will you miss me?
And at the same time write these same words,
about the one who loves you?
My lonely heart can only hope.
~End~

~Passonite Longing~
There you are again,
finally back in my sight,
so I may admire,
and ponder,
all that you are.
My eyes feast on what they see,
but your beaty surpasses all that i know,
and all that i will ever know.
Everything I've ever wanted,
there.
in my sight.
As my minds fills with a mist,
of you.
Gazing into your eyes,
being in the presence of your thoughts,
wanting you for my own.
And when my sight ceases to find you,
I reach panic,
and sorrow fills my soul.
I can only hope I'll find you again,
for you are all that I could ever ask for,
and my heart will forever seek you.
and my eyes will forever beg for you,
and my mind will forever wish for you,
I'm lost in this ever passoinate longing,
and the only cure,
is you.
~End~

~Poem~
Our words are few,
if not, none.
Yet what I feel is so sure.
So confident.
The jokes,
only to pass true feelings.
And the helping hand,
never leaves my mind,
the forgetless words,
never leave my thoughts.
So perfect in your own way,
if only I knew you,
if only i had courage,
if only i had you.
than my worries woud be gone.
I see you as what i want,
not who you are,
and I know I'll be let down,
left in heartbreak.
Just one.....smile.......all I ask.....
mabye words? Just you.
~End~

~Reflection~
I wish I could see through your eyes,
this beaty that you see.
Yet, my reflection in a glazed glass,
leaves me endlessly alone and empty.
A hatred for my apperance,
of my shallow selfish mind,
leaves me feeling pitiful,
never ceasing to decline.
And this hatred for this world,
and my anger at the Lord above,
Why am I alone and ugly?
I want to stop the pain driving through my blood.
A Kaotic tennage world,
my realistic, frenzic mind,
an endless open wound,
wishing the world blind.
All becuase of a relfection.
~End~

~The Knife~ 3/10/97
An agonizing,
hollow,
sober,
mortifying,
screeching,
foul,
stager,
strong,
painful,
deathly sound fills my mind.
Blood,
trickles down my chest,
leaving bland streaks of red,
behind.
(I've reached death)
Pull the knife out
with nest of skin and raw flesh ahold,
the metal is sharp,
and bitter with cold.
I fall to the ground,
to an endless sleep,
I lie in my own cold blood,
now who will reap?
I close my eyes
(dark dark dark)
my bleeding,
red,
tortured,
torn,
raped,
abused,
confused,
alone,
cold soul cries.
I've reached my final death,
happiness arives.
~End~

~Two Feelings~
The note it brought tears,
to understand in how we feel.
The moment,
brought a feeling,
all too revealing.
Torn between two kinds,
torn apart inside.
Ripped on how i feel,
the feelings all too real.
I've wanted this feeling,
so long,
so painful,
hopeless love.
Someone answered from above,
and brought me this wonderul person,
into my hurting life,
and realesed me from the knife.

~untitled~
Look at yourself,
you're so lost in yourself,
you're so into yourself.
Did it ever occur to you to look at everyone else?
Your soul is so shallow,
so bare,
filled with imagines of how great you want to be.
It must be you're too good for the rest of the world and all our probelms,
mabye we should try to be more like you.
Prideful,
rude,
self absorbed individuals with nothing better to do than look at how "great"
we are in the mirror. Well, did it evcer occur to you we have better things
to do? Yeah, we got our problems and can admit for them too, but take a look
at yourself, little self absorbed you.
~End~

~Untitled~
Some say it's crazy,
yet others aren't so sure,
the hard extreme pain,
some can't seem to endure.
Yet we shun and shurg our heads,
it's not our problem, or so we say,
and we continue our lives in paradise,
which we visit every day.
Their clotehs are few and torn,
while ours a expensive and new,
to them their lives are merely nothing,
we say we care but what can we do?
Their food is crumbs and scraps,
and we talk as if we care,
but to act and take a stand,
no one will ever dare.
So we stand off to the side,
hearing thier cries and seeing their pain,
we remark and feel so sorry,
while nothing they do gain.
Their lives are rotting away,
and all we can do is run,
yet i critize these others,
of which I am one.
~End~

~Sleepless~
The memories wont' fade,
as they stick in the back of my mind,
and the pain wont' go away,
with this neverending time.
A never ending nail,
peircing into a ever bleeding heart,
makes me wonder why i cared,
or even dared to start.
~
Why did I go back?
When the first time hurt so bad,
a lesson i refuse to learn,
thrown back into the sand,
another chance mistakely used,
from a heart so broken in two,
a heart still crying out,
for one more chance with you.
~
In time will you see,
all that you have done?
Will you look back missing me?
Wishing I was still the one?
And when I am gone away,
and you are nothing but the past,
I will still sleep at night and dream of you,
wishing it would have last.
~
Why did i go back?
When the first time hurt so bad.
a lesson i refuse to learn,
thrown back into the sand,
another chance mistakely used,
from a heart so broken in two,
a heart still crying out,
for one more chance with you.
~
But the chance wont ever come,
becuase that's just the way things are,
and when another girl attempts to see your soul,
I hope she see's the scar.
~End~

~Answer~
One one thing to exscape,
the endless blur in my mind,
only one real answer,
that I'll ever find.
When the heat of the day,
causes me to give up,
the trenches of hell scream and frighten me,
and I am called back to Him,
I am called back to His grace,
though I came so close to the edge,
so close to my worst fear,
I still kept on,
How my soul aches for the love of Jesus,
though I see why i dont' deserve.
Why is it You alwyas comes back
stronger than before?
Even after i commit all i could against You,
Your hand still reaches for mine,
and with my own repulsive ways,
I let go.
looking for somthign I'll never find.
Help me Jesus to seek you before all else,
before the mockery,
the temptations,
the music,
and the fun,
Help me to see You're the only one reason,
too serve You,
the only Holy One.
~End~

~Letting Go~�� 1/15/98
(First verse)
Here I am again,
this place feels so familiar to me now,
a place that you put me in,
although I can't concieve how.
Am I just a game for you to play?
A toy to pick up and throw down when you are done?
Do you feel proud when you look at the score,
knowing you have won?
I thought i was stronger than this,
I guess you proved me wrong.
(First Chorus)
I guess it's time to let you go,
I guess I knew it all before,
and even though I have to say good-bye,
I'll never let you see me cry,
becuase I'll never give you the pleasure,
of letting you know,
that what i hold of you,
makes it so hard to let go.
(Second Verse)
And when it's over,
and from you I am set free,
I hope I see you as nothing,
but a cheap memory.
becusae that's all you're worth,
or so I'm trying to believe,
but you're stuck in my mind,
and you refuse to leave.
But i can't hold it there anymore,
I have to let you go.
(Second Chrous)
I guess it's time to let you go,
I guess I knew it all before,
and even though I have to say good-bye,
I'll never let you see me cry,
becuase this temporary joy you gave me,
wasn't worth all the tears,
and I hope you are erased from my mind,
once it all clears.
(Bridge)
I hope when you're alone,
there's no one left to hold,
and when the world has betrayed you,
you will be left cold.
Becuase the hurt was so strong,
and you want to let me go,
Can i take this anymore?
(Third Chourus)
I guess it's time to let you go,
I guess I knew it all before,
and even though I have to say good-bye,
I'll never let you see me cry.
becuase to give you that,
my thoughts can't substian,
i can never let you know,
you put me through this much pain.
~
I'll let go somehow.
~End~�� Sara Berghoef

All poems written by Sara Berghoef. More will come as I receive them.